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Eddie Murphy, according to today's LAT and various people not completely charmed by the actor's recent emergence from seclusion to humbly accept a handful of trinkets from various press organizations and professional guilds, might have a problem. While he's the frontrunner™ for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his eye-opening, "Hey, he can act!" turn in Dreamgirls, his peers in the Academy might pause as the quivering tips of their fountain pens approach his name on their ballots, have their minds flooded with unpleasant thoughts about the advisability of bestowing the single greatest honor in the history of human endeavor upon a man whose current project demands a Martin Lawrence-level of craft, and, after recovering from a prolonged vomiting fit brought on by thoughts of being asphyxiated by the disturbingly realistic, dimple-riddled ladyfolds of Murphy's Norbit costume, cast their votes for Djimon Hounsou.

Of course, Serious Members of the Academy protest that The Work is judged entirely upon its Own Merits, so even should Murphy suddenly announce that his next project will be called Eddie Murphy Presents: Let's All Laugh at the Fat Black Ladies, their evaluation of his Dreamgirls performance will be unaffected. So expect Murphy to take the podium on Oscar night as planned, with nary a recognition of the non-controversy during his inevitably awkward acceptance speech, not even a nod to the professionalism of his peers for "ignoring the one where the morbidly obese me smother-fucks the skinny, nerdy me. That was big of y'all."