Paula Abdul To Slur Her Way Further Into Our Hearts With Reality Show
When it rains Paula Abdul-style good fortune, it pours, as Bravo has announced today that everyone's favorite barbiturate-impeded American Idol panelist will now be starring in her own reality series, Hey Paula!, named for the phrase shouted out at the star repeatedly during the project's initial pitch meetings to prevent her from blacking out completely:
The series will provide a candid real look at the "American Idol" judge, pop star, choreographer and multi-platinum artist, as she takes two steps forward, and two steps back into the spotlight, giving an inside perspective on her professional and personal life. [...]
"It's a hectic time in my life right now with several projects in television, film and fashion," said Abdul. "I'm excited to open the doors to Bravo and have all my fans see the other sides to me, beyond what they see on 'American Idol'."
The network probably pitched the project to Abdul as a great way to cross-promote her live-action Bratz movie that no one cares about, but Bravo's savvy programmers knew all along that this series already came with a built-in audience of hard-core, self-destruction voyeurs, who have been set adrift upon the reality TV landscape since classics of the genre like Being Bobby Brown and Breaking Bonaduce were cancelled. Hey Paula! may not offer them the thrills of seeing a former child star plunging a steroid-filled needle into his withered buttock, turn purple, then overturn an Impala, but if today has taught us anything, it's that there really is no limit to the entertainment value that comes out of watching Abdul blend a fistful of Klonopin into her morning frogurt smoothie, then wax philosophical for the cameras as her temporary stroke symptoms begin to set in.