Hot firefighters rescuing you from a stalled elevator? A gorgeous, glistening HAM? Sounds like a pretty good New Year's Eve to us. So shut up. [Perpetually Nauseous]
Furthermore, you live in a building with six fucking doormen. You SHOULD tip those guys for keeping out the crazies. It's not like you can't afford it. Asshole. [Self-Aggrandizement]
