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SCOTT KIDDER — Randy Falco's right-hand man and human "computer" — newly-appointed President and COO Ron Grant — referred to by new AOL chief Randy Falco as "my computer" — has a holiday message for AOL's tens of thousands of employees: Have a good holiday weekend, and stay the fuck away from your email!

In a memo sent out today, he instructed employees that "As much as possible, you're encouraged to make it an e-mail-free, long holiday weekend."

What a nice gesture! Or is it? Employees see it as an omen of things to come.

Our tipster reports:

I work at AOL, and we just got a memo from Ron Grant... he invited everyone to take "a long, email-free holiday weekend", which those of us who are afraid of the safety of our jobs (so everyone) read as "Stay off the internet for a couple of days. We wouldn't want you to hear about the downsizing of your department until after Christmas." Also, I'm still asking around, but I can't find anyone who got a holiday bonus.

Ho ho ho!

Full email after the jump.

Subject: A Head Start On the Holidays

Dear AOL Colleague:

With the holidays now so close, and many already getting on the road to see family and friends, all employees, except those deemed "essential personnel," should feel free to finish up your work early on Friday, December 22, and get a head start on enjoying time away at about noon in your respective locations. As much as possible, you're encouraged to make it an e-mail-free, long holiday weekend. Our thanks this time of year go especially to those personnel who keep AOL services humming 24/7, even through the holidays. And to everyone, best wishes for a happy and safe holiday season.

Ron Grant