Ten Bad-Ass Bots
NICK DOUGLAS — Forget RoboCop — the real bad dude in the '87 film is the massive ED-209. But this bumbling behemoth — its one weakness was stairs — couldn't beat Tom Servo in a battle of wits. Here they are, with video of eight other badass sci-fi robots. In the deleted scene below, ED-209 pumps some rounds into a businessman. Cathartic but not safe for work.
- ED-209, Robocop: As shown above, this thing can cause serious damage. No wonder all the security bots in Deus Ex Machina look just like him. You have 30 seconds to comply.
- Roy Batty, Blade Runner: He's seen things you people wouldn't believe. He will obliterate you. And then he will write a Kansas song about it.
- The Iron Giant: It's always the quiet ones. The Art-Deco Iron Giant is gentle until the guns come out. Then it's wham, bam, blam blam blam.
- Toaster, Battlestar Galactica: The original Cylons, redesigned. And thank gods they don't look like something from the Apple labs — the oscillating red glow on these slick gray killing machines strike terror in humans' hearts.
- Six, Battlestar Galactica: The Cylons look like us now! Only Gaius Baltar . God's special messenger wants to tell you his plan — but she might have to kill you.
- Optimus Prime, Transformers: Robots can't disguise their prostate problems.
- Droideka, The Phantom Menace: This Star Wars battledroid tucks, rolls, then whips back like a casual gunslinger to fire twin blasters.
- Tom Servo, Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Look at this. Blonde hair." "Yeah, you can usually find a blonde hair in a field of wheat." "At night." "In a fog." Oh snap, someone got Servo'd! Gumball-machine-head over there has a razor wit, and for a party trick he bends space and time.
- T-1000 or The Terminator: Who's tougher, the molten T-1000 or the Terminator that, um, melts him to death? Feel free to debate below.
- The orange-shirted dance competitor: Once he pulls the strobe effect, it's all over.
This is an installment in the daily Diggbait column by Nick Douglas, who also writes at Eat the Press.