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Universal's exhaustive research into underexploited marketing opportunities seems to have revealed that potential moviegoers demonstrate an impressive recall rate of their product when a disembodied voice delivers a pitch to the targeted consumer while he's engaged in an act of waste elimination, ensuring that our once-sacred urinal time is about to be as aggressively ad-riddled as the rest of our lives. Reports the Defamer Special Correspondent On What The Fuck, Can't I Even Take A Piss Without Hearing A Movie Ad Now? on the new campaign for Let's Go to Prison:

I took a life changing piss on Friday night. I had the bathroom of my local Chinese eatery all to myself when I started to take a leak. Two seconds in, I hear a radio advertisement for the upcoming [Universal] movie, Let's Go To Prison. I immediately scanned the room to make sure I was the only one there and after confirming I was, the only place left to look was down. To my horror, I was staring right into the face of the decline of Western civilization: a urine-activated voice recording telling me to go see the movie. The Zen-like bathroom of Fu's Palace has been penetrated by one of Hollywood's tackiest marketing techniques to date. Are the days of being able to pee in peace and quite over? I fucking think so.

With the bottom-of-the-urinal space forever breached, it won't be long until the studios realize that an arguably more intrusive marketing opportunity lies within the stalls just a few feet away; a floating, unflushable version of the device could deliver the audio of a full-length movie trailer to those whose digestive distress renders them powerless to escape the digital, bowel-movement-activated voice rising up from beneath them, beseeching the consumer to seek out their film immediately after a thorough wiping.