Morbidly Obese Ambulances Coming For The Morbidly Obese
Why waste your money on ramen and broth when you can gorge yourselves at some of the city's finest trans-fat providers without fear of ill effects? If the City Council has its way, your bloated, overstuffed meatsack will be couriered to a coronary facility in new plus size ambulances. It's an idea advocated for by Mark Rosenthal, the 420-pount stroke victim who had to "lie strapped on an ambulance floor, because the stretcher couldn't fit him." The Fire Department seems wary, arguing that they're already equipped with stretchers that can convey all but the plumpest of fatties; we're going to say that if you've spent any time in Herald Square recently, you'll realize that the purchase of these tubby transporters is probably inevitable.
