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· Tom Cruise hires a firm called Along Came Mary (please, hold your jokes until the end) to plan his wedding, who will be charged with the difficult task of working some pretty awkwardly written vows into their ceremony.
Breaking: Reality television producers may supply alcohol to their contestants, hoping that shitfaced contestants make for better TV.
The Stallion has a Butterscotch Butt-Double.
Were it not for Brad Pitt's ability to elude drunken Dutchmen on his bicycle, rampant anti-Americanism in Europe may have deprived film history of Ocean's Twelve.
· It's finally happened: Jesus Christ has come out against both stem-cell research and Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic comments.