In 1984, or so the YouTube blurb legend goes, the late, great Stanley Kubrick "placed ads throughout the U.S. for young aspiring actors to send in audition tapes" for his upcoming project, Full Metal Jacket. Whether or not the director ever saw this submission—and we think the less we tell you about it the better—we cannot say. It does make one wonder, however, how things might have turned out differently had Kubrick plucked Brian Atene from obscurity and groomed his budding protégé to star in later films like Eyes Wide Shut, as opposed to having caved to the Hollywood system and cast certain "big, high-powered actors" who would ultimately "have their way with him." Perhaps he would still be with us today, hard at work on his virtuosic, Brechtian remake of The Outsiders.