Defamer Pawn Shop: Certified Pre-Owned Emmy Still Up For Grabs
We realize that stumbling upon an unwanted Emmy statuette on Craigslist is about as rare and momentous an occurrence as, say, wandering into the Hyde ladies room on any given night and hearing a voice that sounds a lot like Lindsay Lohan's shouting, "What the hell did I do with that second baggie?!" Still, for some, the trophy carries a great deal of significance—Jeremy Piven, for instance, who's rarely been seen further than five meters from his own since winning one back in August, even breaking it out to use as an impromptu drum stick whenever the urge calls to hit the skins at a local rock club. That said, we're happy to pass along this most recent posting to the ever growing "los angeles craigslist > for sale > awards > emmys" section:
I am the personal assistant to an Emmy award winning director who has decided to sell one of his awards. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own something you can never buy.
If interested, tell me why I should consider you as the buyer alongside a sizeable offer. Serious inquiry's only, please.
To protect the identity of my boss and those who worked on the project for which it was awarded, the dedication plate has been removed and replaced with a blank one so that you may engrave it however you like.
We're not sure if the seller is the same fellow who was looking to unload the talon-winged trophy back in August, though they both use the same photo of a crossed-armed, mustachioed man sitting at a desk next to the award, and both request a statement of intention. We'd humbly suggest to any prospective buyers on the current Tonight Show writing staff to speak plainly and from the heart, while making sure to build to a stirring conclusion in which you explain that this is your "one and only chance at scoring some sweet Academy candy for the mantle."