This Halloween, Make Celebrity Breeding Work For You
If you're struggling with the epic decision of what Hallowe'en costume to wear this year — slutty schoolgirl, slutty pirate wench, Paris Hilton... too many options! — then let the kind folks at Celebrity Baby Blog make your life easier. They've sifted through the annals of Hollywood parentage and come up with a short list of which stars and their progeny might make timely costumes, either to deploy with the aid of an actual child, or for you to force upon your most gullible, easily influenced friends.
1) CoCo Riley Arquette... daughter of power-producing couple David and Courteney Cox-Arquette. CoCo's costume needs: a tutu, preferably a pink one, a "magic" wand, a pretty princess tiara, which can be worn over toddler styled leggings (pants) and a screen t-shirt (to jazz it up it can have a cute saying like "Princess" or "Daddy's Girl") [... ]
Parents Choice: Your options are really open with CoCo's family. You can dress as Courteney, whose chic style resembles her popular role as Monica Geller on Friends , or you can dress as David, where really anything goes. He prefers suits pieces that don't match and an out of place hat every now and then. Go wild!
Our suggestions after the jump:
1) Lindsay Lohan, wildchild and sometime-Firecrotch daughter of willfully incompetent wannabe MILF Dina Lohan. For Linds, it doesn't matter what hair color you choose — she's had them all — as long as your wig is overprocessed and lank. Yank on a pair of too-small leggings paired with giant boots, a ratty black tee, and leggings. Take foundation that's two shades too dark and smear it on your face in uneven streaks, guzzle a Red Bull, take a nasal hit of laundry detergent (or the nearest powdery white substance) to simulate her pupils, and then be sure to bump into a few walls. Paint your nails black, bite half the polish off, and then flip off the party hosts while spending 40 percent of the night in their bathroom, for that added dose of authenticity,
Parents' Choice: See above, with more cleavage, a tawny wig, and fake teeth.
2) Suri Cruise, spawn of Katie Holmes and, depending on what you read, Tom Cruise, Chris Klein, or L. Ron Hubbard. This one's easy — you do nothing and stay home.
Parents' choice: Big glasses, a pasted-on robotic smile, unbrushed hair, and jeans. The best part: the look works for either official parent.
3) Dorothy Zbornak, daughter of tiny Sicilian firecracker Sophia Petrillo. The gloriously tart goddess of her split-level Miami kingdom rules the roost in either long skirts or flowing trousers paired with colorful sweaters and blazers that — and this is key — use more fabric in the sleeves alone than in the entire rest of the garment. Pair this with a pair of flat sandals, preferably in clear plastic, and be sure to wear some red lipstick on that scowl.
Parents' Choice: Sophia is synonymous with thick bi-focals on a chain and her signature mop of white curls — think Little Octagenarian Annie. She wore clothes, but we remember her best shuffling through the house in a billowy nightgown with those tight Isotoner slippers. Have that wicker handbag nearby and begin every other sentence with, "Picture it: Sicily, 1932." Bring a cheesecake.
