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The following brief report on Friday night's American Cinematheque roast-esque event honoring George Clooney landed in our inbox last night (a little tardy, perhaps, but always appreciated), submitted by an operative surprised to hear an actress (especially one of a certain age) take the stage and declare her carnal knowledge of the night's honoree:

I was at the "American Cinematheque Moving Picture Ball" honoring George Clooney at the Beverly Hilton on Friday night. He is quite dashing in person, by the way. Anywho, the show was a sort of roast of him, and many actors got up to tease him and say funny things about him, and he laughed genuinely and charmingly for almost all of it. When Ellen Barkin got up, though, she said, "I am one of the only women who will admit it - I fucked George Clooney!" Yes, she actually said "fucked." Tres classy. I looked over at George and he did not seem to think it was so funny. It was only after that I read gossip about her crushing on him and vice versa on the set of Oceans 13.

Of course, the nature of the event gave Barkin's publicist a convenient way to buy back her client's declaration of a Clooney conquest, as the flack told Rush & Molloy that she "was just goofing around. It was a roast. She was being funny." But due to the new George Clooney Actress-Fucking Uncertainty Principle established by the recent announcement of his campaign to plunge the entire gossip industry into turmoil by intentionally sending the celebrity-obsessed press on wild goose chases, we suppose that we can never really know whether or not he's willing to do his older co-stars during downtime on the set.