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This year, Donny Deutsch, the biggest douchebag in the advertising industry, started "writing" a Gotham magazine feature for the Napoleonic-complexed Jason Binn, the biggest douchebag in the magazine industry, ingeniously titled "Deutsch Mark" (a quick copyright search finds that "I Suck The Ass Of An Ass Beast" is also unclaimed, Don). The gig has ended up being, quite blatantly, a monthly one-page advertorial for Deutsch's trailblazing CNBC show, The Big Idea.

Who is paying whom for this sweet-smelling Summer's Eve arrangement? I don't care; it's slutty ad/mag biz as usual. What I do care about is the journalistic chops of the 48-year-old, (49 next month) Cadillac Escalade-driving bachelor adman turned columnist.


Back in March, Deutsch interviewed the drunk-driving Big Shot, Billy Joel. The mini-article totaled 435 words. Total words from Joel: 82. Total words Deutsch talked about himself: 194, including 50 ballyhooing his groundbreaking TV show.

In September, Deutsch shared excerpts from an interview with Bill Gates. In addition to inquiring how much money Gates had in his wallet, he asked the founder of Microsoft what was on his iPod. Gates politely responded that he didn't have an iPod. I would have drop-kicked Deutsch in the face with my commando-soled boots.

This month in the Gotham "men's issue," the macho man who once dead-seriously claimed he could kick the ass of any other advertising CEO, fascinatingly lists his 12 favorite things for Fall. Preferred place to shop—Scoop NYC (the t-shirts just hug his man-chest). Favorite dinner spot—Nobu. (sfx: honk-shhhh). Finally, he names his dad David as his favorite artist.

Smart move that, considering Daddy Dave handed a 26-year-old Donny his agency and career on an Ikea Flytta serving cart, $129, shipping not included.

This image was lost some time after publication.


(Above is one of Dad's paintings, entitled "Why the Green Giant is Jolly.")

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a Big Fat Lie. Advertising copywriter copyranter brings you instances of Ad Lies and the Lying Liars who sell them.