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Because reality television personality and South Floridian land baron Donald Trump had occasionally hosted disgraced, would-be page-diddler Mark Foley at his Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago resort (which we've heard is the greatest and most luxurious resort in the entire world, and possibly constructed entirely of solid gold) at various social functions, The Donald was recently put in the uncomfortable position of having to decry the former Congressman's unsavory behavior. Trump, never one to shy from any recording device pointed in his direction, did more than just offer the obligatory shock and outrage over his sometime guest's actions; not only did he insinuate that Mar-a-Lago's specially trained guard dogs would be given a whiff of a cocktail napkin Foley once handled to guarantee that any attempt at future party-crashing would be met with a highly prejudicial Doberman mauling, he went on to express his unequivocal distaste for the taboo practice of boy-kissing:

Foley, who stepped down after he was caught sending inappropriate text messages to teenaged boys, often attended functions at Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida.

"He's not a member, and I can ban whoever I want," Trump told the Palm Beach Post. "I see Mark at the club very often, but he is always someone else's guest. I have a feeling he won't be asked to come very often anymore.

"Personally, I don't much like men who want to kiss young boys."

Presumably, Trump wasn't asked about the thousands of dollars he's donated to Foley over the years (see the very partial list above), or he would've have undoubtedly produced a roll of hundred-dollar bills from his pocket and lit it on fire to demonstrate the burning regret he feels over those boy-kisser-directed campaign contributions.