Paris Hilton Willing To Be Dumb When It Suits Her
In a quote that will be instantly stripped of context and presented as proof that Paris Hilton is aware that she's exactly as intelligent as we assume one who is singlehandedly responsible for the term "celebutard" entering the pop culture vernacular might be, Page Six reports Hilton played the dumb card while being questioned in connection with the Joe Francis Kidnapping And Dildo-Menacing Trial of the Century:
"Like I really . . . I don't remember. I'm not like that smart," Hilton said in police audio tapes set to air on "Dateline NBC" on Saturday night. LAPD Detective Steve Koman and Deputy DA Hoon Chun were asking Hilton to remember what she told Francis at a party shortly after the "Girls" mastermind was victimized on Jan. 24, 2004.
Francis passed on Paris' information to cops, who eventually busted Darnell Riley. But when investigators pressed Hilton to recall her talk with Francis, she didn't remember much, The Post's David K. Li reports.
"I like forget stuff all the time," she said.
Koman, however, jumped to Paris' defense and encouraged her to think again. "Don't cut yourself short," he said in the "Dateline" tapes.
We feel that it's our duty to remind you that Hilton is, in fact, in possession of a genius-level intellect so potent that she can manipulate the minds of anyone who meets her vacant gaze. Once Hilton realized that the detective's self-esteem boost was a clear indication he wasn't buying her faulty memory claims, she turned up the intensity of her mind-control rays, locking him in a prolonged, brain-smoothing stare, after which he was completely convinced that her subsequent drooling and random pointing at objects in the room was a genuine indication of her mental capacity.
