As we patiently wait for Mark to return from his two-day seminar at the John Travolta Flight Academy (he'll be back Monday, and so will our full post count), we thought a fun way to pass the long, tortuous minutes of separation anxiety was with a quiz on last night's much anticipated/dreaded premiere of Survivor: Cook Islands. Regardless of how you score, we think the test, like the clip above, will aptly demonstrate how dead wrong we all were in our assumption that the reality show's four-way race war premise would somehow devolve into a series of cringe-inducing ethnic stereotypes. It's after the jump. Good luck!

Match the following Survivor: Cook Islands tribes to the corresponding statements made by one of their members on last night's premiere:

A: Asians B: Blacks C: Caucasians D: Dominicans & Their Ilk.

1. "I can't believe a bunch of ****** who are so little weigh so much! All that rice!
2. "Represent! Represent!"
3. "I feel like this is ass backwards. Our parents got a raft and paddled away from an island."
4. "Are you guys braiding the palms? Giving it cornrows? That's some nappy hair right there!"
5. "This is a unique opportunity to show that we work hard..."
6. "I don't fit the stereotype—hard working Mr. Engineers with jacket suit and ties."
7. "We've got, like, a jock, and then we've got a sorority type..."
8. "I had a dream!"

Answers: 1. A 2. B 3. D 4. B 5. D 6. A 7. C 8. B
(Highlight to read.)