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A mere 15 months after a whirlwind fake courtship resulted in an almost instantaneous, indefinite engagement and a mysterious pregnancy that resulted in the cutest set of rented babies that you're ever likely to see in the pages of a national magazine, Tom Cruise is very nearly ready to make an honest woman of Katie Holmes. Us Weekly reports that Holmes' "dream wedding" is just "days away," happening "soon," "in the next three to six weeks," or during the even more tantalizingly vague timeframe of "the early fall." We're sure she's eager to finally get this next step out of the way, as the billion-year commitment to her soulmate won't feel truly official until Cruise smears some wedding cake on her face, flashes his trademark smile, then whispers in her ear, "Don't even try to run. There are snipers everywhere. There is no escape."

And lest you think that wedding planning is stalling Cruise's transition into the post-Paramount phase of his career, producing partner/gal Friday Paula Wagner has already found their company some new office space in Century City, right around the corner from CAA's headquarters, making it easy for the actor to take a quick walk to visit his agents any time he's feeling down about his wide-open work schedule and needs someone to reassure him that he's still the biggest star in the world.