Breaking: Real 9/11 Victims Can't Use LIRR!
Speaking of 9/11 (har): a commuting correspondent reports that there's no LIRR service into the city, forcing him to take the subway into Manhattan from Jamaica. A track fire around 5 AM was reported at Penn Station; the requisite "suspicious package" was then sighted, completing this morning's cycle of anniversary terror and paranoia. According to the AP wire, all is well and service in and out of Penn Station is running slightly behind — but the vigilant authorities at the Jamaica station are telling commuters to take the subway. Says our correspondent: "The conductor could not have been less concerned. He was like, 'Yeah, bomb threat.'" And really, that's what today is all about: healing with a shrug.