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PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often! Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you spotted Jessica Simpson swooping back into town after a reinvigorating bass-fishing expedition.

In today's episode: Mel Gibson; Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton, Kevin Connelly, Kimberly Stewart, Ashlee Simpson and Courtney Love; Jessica Simpson; Jeremy Piven; Adam Brody; Nicole Richie; Alfre Woodard; Scott Caan, Selma Blair and Johnny Messner; Christina Ricci; James Avery; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Eddie Van Halen; Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed; Fabio; Janice Dickinson and Brian Posehn. In Venice: Ben Affleck; Ethan Hawke; Helen Mirren and Catherine Deneuve; Clive Owen and Harvey Weinstein.

· This happened a few weeks ago [ed. note: Pre-DUI], but I'm new to Defamer. I got invited a fancy cigar bar in Beverly Hills and when I walked in the first thing I saw was some guy on the floor, straddling a waitress, giving her a FRONT massage! Noticing my jaw hit the carpet, the embarrassed manager shrugged and said "yeah, we have a floor show now" Later, said masseuse came over to the bar and it was Malibu Mel himself! Later, the inevitably hot waitress giddily gushed "wait'll I tell my boyfriend MEL GIBSON gave me a massage!"

· My best friend was at Simon Kitchen last night until about midnight. Paris was there until just before midnight at a table with: Nicky Hilton, Kevin Connelly, Kimberly Stewart, Ashlee Simpson and Courtney Love!!!! The table was covered with food and plenty of wine bottles. Do we really buy the "no food & just one margarita" excuse?

· So I went to the Suicide Girls 5th anniversary party thing at the Dragonfly tonight- we got there at 11ish at waited a long time for the show to start. We mainly went to see the (free- thank god for guest list) comedy (Sarah Silverman), but we were informed she performed earlier in the evening. Finally the moment we weren't waiting for arrived: the Suicide Girls started their "burlesque" show. It was like watching "America's Got Talent" late night on USA. Pasties and g-strings plus a hula hoop. Speaking of talent- Courtney Love was there- my friends and I have decided she must have been a man before becoming a woman. The only highlight of my evening was seeing Kevin Connelly. The crowd was trashy & getting overly erectile over girls grinding the air. Incidentally, there was not a "charity event" going on there at all. Hmmmm . . .

· I had pretty much one of my top celeb sightings ever today, at LAX. Around noon, in the American terminal, I am slumped into a plastic seat at gate 42B, waiting for my flight to be called, enjoying my "high" (2 Bloody Mary's + 1/2 Vicodin = happy flying experience) when I get this premonition to look up from my People magazine I'm perusing and there, slowly strolling by, is JESSICA SIMPSON! She was not only sans make up and dressed down, she was dressed a bit like she was coming back from a fishing trip in a trench coat and duckie waders! I kid you not. She was carrying that overly well fed dog of hers, Daisy. What is it, a cockapoo? It's honestly too large to ride up in the cabin although I guess it did. The perks of fame! Jessica was being "escorted" by two friend types, a man and a woman, maybe late 20s, both of them very, very...Midwestern. No other way to put it. Not Ashlee, not Joe, not even anyone who looked like "publicist" or "bodyguard". Instead, the man and woman with Jess both reminded me of my cousins who live in Iowa. No one else even noticed Jessica sauntering by (she was walking super slow, kinda like how you walk the morning after a really good...horseback ride!), but Jessica could see right away I recognized her. She actually looked over at me, made eye contact, and gave me a curt nod that I read as "chill out, girl, I'm almost out of here, home free." So I let her pass unmolested. She actually looks rather plain without make up. Not ugly but not gorgeous. Her lips still look plastic surgery big. And she appeared of a totally normal weight, which was nice to see. No John Mayer in sight.

· i feel i have the missing pieces to this story that make it more pleasurably continuous- If the date was July 26th that this sighting occurred, I was witness to events that unfolded some hour or two later. Around 5:30ish that day, I was inside of said cigar shop, one of only two or three people at that moment, when lo and behold, the only reason I watch entourage, Jeremy Piven walks in. Even though I was seated at the time I was thrown by the fact that he looked shorter than i imagined and also rather more weebleish and sort of sausage like, wearing a very thick white belt. My only thought was that he was one of the lucky ones that the camera subtracts ten pounds from - but I digress... So, I am friends with the owner of this establishment and we were talking as Mr. Piven perused the large display case of cigars. Being that the owner of this place does not usually know who any celebrities are, I indicated to him that this was one and he should give him a little extra sales attention (good for repeat business). As Mr. Piven was paying for his cigars he mentioned that it was his birthday and the cigars were tied into the planned festivities and he had never really smoked a cigar before. According to IMDB his birthday is July 26th. I asked the owner a while back if he had ever returned since and he said who? I said the guy with the white belt, you know, he says oh... that guy. No.

· 09.07.06 I saw Adam Brody with a male friend at Canter's last night/this morning around 1-1:30. He had a cup of coffee, but nothing to eat and seemed a bit tired. Rough night? Hey, he still looked good to me!

· Nicole Richie at Mickey Fine's pharmacy on Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills - Wednesday, Sept 6th at 3:40PM. Very tiny in every way possible. I swear I could wrap my index finger and thumb around her waist. She seemed very much at home surrounded by all those pharmaceuticals, as she waltzed through grabbing a magazine and told the several counter clerks who suddenly appeared at the register to fawn over their favorite and undoubtedly frequent customer- "I'm taking this" as she pointed the the magazine. Actually it was more like a "I'm taking this magazine and put it on my tab" attitude. God only knows how long that drug prescription tab must be.

· Spotted Alfre Woodard at Joan's on Third in Beverly Hills. She was talking to an older man about why she wasn't coming back this season and said "One year was enough for me..."

· Young Hollywood Tough Guys gotta' eat too. And can't do it without their ladies. Coffee Shop, basement of the Beverly Hills Hotel (best eggs bennie around). Focused on the food until a little rowdie errupts in the back corner. Second Generation pussy hound Scottie Caan is alternatively bantering with his entourage and macking with a tallish, brunette actress model whatever (vaguely familiar in a "didn't I see you naked in a movie for two seconds" way). That noise drew my attention to the second youngish couple, Selma Blair and her new man Johnny Messner of Anaconda 2 fame. Wow, you go from a Zappa scion to this guy? If only her acting showed the same range. They stopped to schmooze a few other young and/or tattooed H-wood types on the way out and I went back to my Eggs Bennie and the NY Times.

· Sunday 2:30 Hillhurst and Franklin Saw Christina Ricci who is extremely small get out of a beat up bronco, take a few drags throw the cigarette on the ground and walk into a Tanning Salon

Also: Selma Blair, Sunday, Sunset and Labrea heading west Driving a convertable mercedes, looking pissed an smoking.

Also: @Gelsons on Hyperion in SilverLake The guy who played Uncle Phil (James Avery) on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air shopping.

Of all the celebrities Ive seen this guy caused the biggest stir. Electrical Excitement Tore through Gelson. All I have to say is lock your girlfriend away when this man is around. Also, for a rotund guy he was very accommodating to one and all who sought autographs and a few moments of his time to discuss their favorite Fresh Prince of B.A. moments

I will allow that while this does seem exciting it's just another day in the 'wood

· Tuesday 9/5 Trader Joe's in Toluca Lake, 8:45 pm: a very pregnant Jennie Garth, with husband Peter Facinelli and kids in tow. She was sans make-up, fairly unassuming, in a tank top and flowy, white skirt...they were definitely recognized by people in the store, but no one bothered them. He almost ran a cart into me at the checkout, so I smiled and said "excuse me" as I would to any normal human being, but only received a blank "why are you in my way?" type stare, no apology. They seemed like a nice little family, running around the grocery store like the rest of us.

· Saw Eddie Van Halen entering an office building in Century City with some lawyer types. He had a massive keychain, like those you'd see on a high school girl from 1992 and some sweet shoes. Friend of mine said he went to the bathroom like 12 times in 4 hours, does he have a weak bladder?

· -completely forgot, but all the Gene Simmons sightings made me recall my flight on Saturday, Aug. 26. the 4:05 up to OAK from Burbank on Southwest included Simmons, his wife the Amazon-looking Shannon Tweed, two kids including their super-tall rail-skinny son and an entourage of what seemed to be producers of various levels. No idea what was in OAK, but it got better: after we exited the flight they found their bags at the carousel with everyone else, and then hopped my very same rental car shuttle bus to Hertz, where we had to part ways - me for the surly 'normal-folks' counter and they to Club Gold. Simmons looks like a waxwork, but Tweed is quite the looker - all very, very tall. All very peaceful and smiley.

· Dammit, I keep forgetting to send sightings (Jake G, Scott Weiland, Wayne Brady) and for some reason, this one stayed. Unfortunately. The bf & I are eating lunch inside at Fabiolus Cafe (we usually eat out on the patio), trying to keep out of the 1000 kabillion degree heat, when we walk through the patio (to get to the car) and see...a long beautiful tawny blonde mane of hair. And it's attached to a very tan, broad shouldered muscular man... FABIO! Surrounded by 6 people, eating in the 1st ring of hell.

I know-anti-climatic, but interesting as a girlfriend of mine dated him and told me that he had skinny chicken legs.

· Tuesday 9/6 City National Bank on Roxbury
Janice Dickinson asked me and another bank patron to cut in front of us because she had an appointment at the passport office in 20 minutes. She didn't look nearly as plastic as she does on TV, she actually looks good despite being very tanorexic. No neither me nor the other patron let her cut...bitch please!

· Erstwhile Mr. Show cast member Brian Posehn at my 10:15 screening of Crank at the Sherman Oaks Galleria on Labor Day. With a nordic-looking child. The Valley produces yet another B- list comedian sighting.

· Special Venice Film Festival PrivacyWatch:

As I'm usually a Silver Lake operative, I'm not sure if this counts, but here goes.

I found myself in Venice, Italy for the big film festa, and stayed at one of the big hotels (Hotel Des Bains) on the Lido where a lot of celebrities had set up shop:

8/31 Ben Affleck (there for "Hollywoodland") walked through the lobby amidst about nine entourage people, holding his crotch and looking very annoyed. He's a lot taller than expected but I got a very strong divo (masculine of diva) asshole vibe off of him.

9/3 and 9/4 Ethan Hawke (there for "The Hottest State") and his adorable children were at the breakfast buffet eating chocolate muffins and drinking sparkling water. He was quite polite to all of the staff and very attentive to the kids. He amused his son by doing that trick with the spoon on his nose. Seems like a really nice, unaffected guy.

9/4 Helen Mirren ("The Queen") was gorgeous and impeccable at breakfast and at the table across from her was Catherine Deneuve (chair of the jury) reading a French newspaper and cutting out articles with a handy razor blade thing.

9/4 Clive Owen and a group of friendly folks had drinks at the bar (outside) after the premiere of "Children of Men". He was wearing velvet and was also quite polite and seemed approachable. When they were getting ready to leave, a big dumpy guy with baggy Levis hanging off his ass came up to them and talked to a small man who seemed to be someone important in the group. It turns out the big dumpy guy was Harvey Weinstein and he said this to the small man, loudly: "We'd really like Clive to do "Shanghai". I guess it's an upcoming project.