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• Ellen DeGeneres is in a car crash (not caused by paparazzi, for once), making for excellent online advertising opportunities. [TMZ]
• Lloyd Grove survives Labor Day, reports that Jessica Simpson is even more of a whore than previously believed. The melanin princess collected assloads of swag and a $50K Chrysler convertible — though the latter will be donated to charity, as homegirl doesn't drive domestic. [Lowdown]
• The New York Public Library and fashion don't mix. Specifically, literacy clashes with Anna Wintour's McQueen tartans. [Page Six]
• Showgirls scribe Joe Eszterhas goes out on a limb and calls Val Kilmer an "imbecile" and Michael Douglas "not brilliant." [R&M]
• Julia Roberts' BO would be a standout contribution to the world of celebrity perfumes. [Page Six]