Suri Cruise's Bronzed Poop Makes Public Appearance Before Actual Baby
Daniel Edwards, the pop-culture-obsession skewering/exploiting artist behind the sculpted representation of a crowning Sean Preston Spears that inflicted emotional wounds that might never fully heal, has unveiled his greatest achievement yet: Beating Tom Cruise's suspiciously delayed, baby-related product to market with a bronzed version of Suri's "first poop" that will be simultaneously auctioned for charity on eBay and displayed under glass in a Brooklyn art gallery, which he claims finally proves both the possibly imaginary offspring's existence and its health. Unfortunately, neither the image nor the press release reveals the dimensions of the petrified diaper-snake, leaving us to wonder if it was constructed to a scale that would properly reflect the waste produced by a mutant, 50-foot-tall infant.