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Not since May's Good Housekeeping story revealing that Tom Cruise's adopted daughter Isabella masterminded the kidnapping and eventual enslavement of Scientology war bride Katie Holmes have we read Cruise news fraught with such inescapable menace, but here we sit, gape-mouthed with horror over this item on The Scoop hinting at the ruthless way the actor deals with dissent within his family:

Tom Cruise is making nice with his sweetie's family. After an "emotional showdown" in which Katie Holmes demanded that Cruise make more concessions to her and her family, Cruise whisked Holmes' family in his private plane to his hideaway in Telluride, Colorado, according to the National Enquirer. The family "bonded" with Cruise, reports the tab, which quotes a "family source" as saying, "He didn't talk Scientology once."

We suspect that the next time we hear about the Holmeses, it will be weeks from now, after they chew through their limbs to escape their "bonding session" chains and eventually reach help in Telluride village. As for Katie, well, she's obviously learned a valuable lesson about mouthing off to the man of the compound about his treatment of the in-laws.