Short Ends: Turtle Helps Bruce Willis Shake The Raccoon
· Pictured: At the Paris premiere of Over the Hedge, Bruce Willis was initially relieved that photographers finally wanted him to pose with a co-star other than the raccoon, but quickly became uneasy when a publicist explained to him that the French fans assembled at the event were demanding that he receive a handjob from Verne the turtle. Always the consummate pro, Willis gritted his teeth and submitted to a brief, yet vigorous, manual stimulation.
· We're all for the still-hot Sophia Loren getting naked, but a couple of old ladies taking off their clothes does not constitute a "mature pin-ups" trend.
· Jeremy Piven wants no part of your blunt, young punk, unless it contains some weed.
· If you ever think of giving us a gift, a Tom Cruise bobblecouch would be kind of perfect. Yes, that's a hint.
