The following just landed in the Gawker mailbag:

Thursday, 8pm: I'm walking home from a friend's house via 7th ave when I notice a woman about ten feet ahead of me stumbling in her heels. The straps were not staying put on her shoes and she kept getting her heel caught and stumbling, say, every 10 seconds or so. The man she was walking with never seemed to notice or care. But the best aspect of this story was that, as we approached a crosswalk, an ambulance came roaring down 7th avenue, with horns and lights and sirens blaring. It had its blinker on indicating it was going to make a left turn, cutting in front of me and this woman and her companion. Well, this lady was having none of it. She stepped right in front of the oncoming ambulance, as it attempted to make a turn, and put her hand up, shouted, "I'm crossing!!!" and proceeded to cross the street, stumbling in her heels the entire way. I'd say the rescue was delayed maybe 30 seconds due to this, and perhaps someone died. The woman? Anna Wintour. I guess the devil crosses when she sees fit!

Oh, dear God. The ambulance delay may have had dire consequences, but we should all be far more concerned with Anna's shoes. How could she leave the house in such challenging heels? Where were they from? Will they ever again appear in the The Bible? Do they have a similar effect on Robertya Myers or Glenda Bailey? Above all else, we simply must know which disobedient shoemaker betrayed the master — if only so that we may applaud them.