This image was lost some time after publication.

While millions hold their breath, gradually turn purple, and quietly expire from self-inflicted asphyxiation waiting for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to finally consent to an official Miracle Baby photo shoot, Fox 411's Roger Friedman claims to know why pictures of Suri Cruise haven't hit the cover of People yet: No one offered America's Most Suspicious Couple enough money for the privilege:

According to my sources, a photo shoot of Suri was offered to Wire Image, the prestigious agency, for sale to the various celebrity magazines right after the little "Mission: Impossible"/"Dawson's Creek" tyke was born in silence to her unmarried movie star parents Tom Cruise and the dazed-looking Katie Holmes.

An auction was conducted, with People, Us Weekly, Star and the lesser names like In Touch all putting in their two cents. [...]

The Cruise auction is said to have produced not more than a $3 million bid. At that point, the offer was rescinded. The mission was termed "impossible." No further word was heard from the Cruise camp.

Unfortunately for Team Cruise, they had no way of knowing that pictures of the still-unborn Shiloh Jolie-Pitt—whom they beat to market with their inferior Suri product by over a month—would eventually fetch $4 million. If they'd had an idea of what the market would be for highly anticipated baby photos from a celebrity couple that had not completely alienated fans with their bizarre antics, they might not have suffered the crushing disappointment of seeing that meager bid fall far short of their $225 million reserve price (after Scientology takes its cut, it's really pocket change), and the public might have its first images of proud father Cruise and the young Suri-clone he specially selected for a high-profile photo shoot.