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• Jenna Elfman defends Scientology by screaming in public and asking people if they've raped babies. If only she were allowed to take her medication, these outbursts could be prevented. [TMZ]
• If you watch that Thomas Friedman video again carefully, you just might notice a young lady in the background, swilling champagne. Apparently, she's his daughter — and she just graduated high school. But who doesn't booze their way through Daddy's big night? [Fishbowl NY]
• Lower East Side stinkpit Rothko shuts its doors — but where will the little hipsters dance now? [Brooklyn Vegan]
• The mathetmatical formula for Bridget Harrison. [Julia Allison]
• Andrew Hearst — the man just hired to edit Vanity Fair online — brings you Sementeen, for adolescent and teenage boys everywhere. [Panopticist]
• You kind of knew Jon Stewart would be a good tipper. [New York Hack]
• The rights to John Steinbeck's works have been awarded to his son and granddaughter, neither of whom will have to lift a finger ever again. [AP]
• Surprisingly enough, wearing your Anderson Cooper fan shirt to Anderson Cooper's book signing does not scare the silver fox. [Understandish]
• Our worldly brother Gridskipper is in desperate need of interns in New York and Los Angeles. Come join our abusive family, won't you? [Gridskipper]