• We fall to our knees and weep at the first pictures of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, which maybe we saw a little earlier than we were supposed to. But we don't care — her cutey-patootiness shall wait for no lawyer!
• Finally, after interminable months of uncertainty, Conde Nast gives us Porfolio. Lord knows when when we'll actually see it.
• Turns out Page Six editor Richard Johnson's DUI last week wasn't his first.
• The Coop declines to read from his book, opting instead to briefly just talk with smelly people. Afterwards, he retreats to Julio's love nest.
• We marvel at the horror of the Guccione mansion.
• Star magazine cans five employees, including two Fuller veterans.
• Wenner Media readies itself for MTV's cameras, due to start filming on Monday. Assistants begin applying makeup now.
• Krucoff attemps for the world's worst case of indigestion by eating his way around town with David Wain and Ken Marino, who will later dip his balls in it.