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Once again, the tabloid press has fallen for the clever tricks of the Charlie Sheen PR machine, which slyly seeks to reinforce the actor's alleged, All-American taste for the company of barely legal (legal being the operative word), spanky-panted pom-pom girls through the gossip column testimony of former enablers of his pigtail fetish .Says Page Six:

"He's about as sick as they come," says the aspiring actress in her late 20s, who looks a schoolgirl-ish 18. The Sheen throwaway spoke with Life & Style, which published a clean version of what the unidentified woman said. Here's the unedited rest of it.

"He posed as a talent scout [and] left a message that was, like, 'Hi, this is Mr. Jonze, I'm interested in seeing more pictures of you.' When I called him back, after a few minutes of talking, he told me who he was.

"We dated for about a month. He's such a [bleep]ing perv. He would ask me to dress up, like, in pigtails and schoolgirl outfits. I don't think he's like a pedophile, but he's definitely into really young girls. You know like 18, 19. I don't doubt that everything his wife is saying now is true. [...]

"Bull[bleep]! It's not true," roared Sheen's publicist Stan Rosenfield. "It's not true . . . Why don't you just lose my number?"

Last week, the flack "fumed," today he "roared," and next time, observing the rules of dramatic outrage escalation, he will tear out his hair, rend his flesh, and cry out to an unfeeling God, "Why must everyone insist that my client engages in semi-kinky sex with a procession of women who are above the age of consent? Why? Why?"