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Our heart goes out to Charlie Sheen's personal assistant, who has seen a considerable expansion in job requirements recently: In addition to chauffeuring their boss to his various "It's A Smear Campaign!" tabloid TV tour appearances, they must also spend hours scrawling the words "lying, Sambora-sucking slut" over Denise Richards' face on stacks of old wedding photos. And if that isn't enough, we can only imagine the delicate, professional touch required in breaking the news that their boss' living nightmare week just got one bullshit lawsuit worse:

Ursula Auburn, who claims she had romantic encounters with Sheen between 1992 and 1998, alleges that the "wacky neighbor and female stalker, Rose" on Two and a Half Men is based on her. [...]

"Several of the events involving Rose and Sheen's character on the show mirror incidents that occurred between Auburn and Sheen and moreover, the character Rose herself clearly appears to be based on Auburn," reads the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Los Angeles Superior Court.

Auburn is seeking more than $1 million (U.S.) for invasion of privacy, negligence, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

While the lawsuit will most probably be dismissed, the case could nevertheless end up setting an influential precedent as being the first time in American judicial history the term "wacky neighbor" was incorporated into a legal document. We fear the copycat suits to follow, however, as chubby, ineffectual husbands and perky, headstrong women looking for a fresh start on romance start suing for their piece of the sitcom cliche pie.