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We've received a copy of a memo recently circulating around the House of Conde regarding four organized running events. For those of you who aren't fluent in physical fitness, we've provided our handy translation services:

Subject: Run With Conde Nast

Translation: Lose weight with Conde Nast.

We are excited to announce that Cond Nast Publications will participate in four running events in NYC, and all employees are eligible to join. CNP will cover registration fees for all races and provide each runner with a company t-shirt.

Translation: You will have four distinct opportunities to exercise.

The first event is the Revlon Run/Walk for Women on Saturday, May 6. Runners may also participate in several other races this year including the Media Challenge, the JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge and the Komen Race for the Cure.

Translation: If you don't burn some extra calories, you will be hurting those in need.

For additional details and to register for upcoming races, go to Connect and log in. Information is featured in the Events & Promotions section (under the orange "News & Events" tab). Please note: registration for the Corporate Challenge (Wednesday, June 21) is limited so we encourage you to sign up today.

Translation: There's no excuse for your ass to look like it does.