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We'll have to wait and see how Dallas fares at the box office before we can start looking forward to the 80s nighttime soap movie adaptation we really want to see: Dynasty: The Motion Picture, an urban reimagining with Ice Cube and Queen Latifah in the Blake and Krystle roles, and a 72-year-old Joan Collins back as Alexis (thanks to a clause buried in her brilliantly negotiated season three deal). Until then, however, we'll just have to settle for Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar, one of those clips-and-anecdotes specials coming soon to CBS. USA Today was on hand to record it all—from the catty remarks made behind Collins' back to the arrival of beloved series patriarch John Forsythe, who hasn't been seen in over a decade:

Before they begin, Collins issues a stern warning: "Can I ask everyone behind the camera to be absolutely still?" Later, she scolds, "Even if someone puts their hand in their pocket, it distracts me." [...]

[B]efore long, they are all gossiping about their differing salaries and why each left the series.

When Collins, who remained with Dynasty throughout its run, announces that she quit as well, her castmates look at her dumbfounded. "Well, I wasn't going to come back," she explains, "so they canceled the show." [...]

While the cast continues reminiscing, Miller helps Forsythe into his tuxedo as producer
Henry Winkler assists Forsythe with his lines. There has been a great effort to shield him from media camera crews. But the concern is unwarranted. Finally revealing himself to the cast, Forsythe appears, as Oxenberg notes, "a little more slouched" but with "the same quick wit and sparkle in his eye."

Much harder for the cast to absorb was what has become of Henry Winkler: More than a few gasps and muffled sobs were heard echoing throughout the room as they realized the onetime greasy hunk had all but vanished into the sagging skin of the balding producer barking at them to "Talk more about the catfights, people! This is getting boring!"