So Denise Richards' lawyer went to court today, alleging that Richards' estranged husband Charlie Sheen has pushed her and threatened to kill her — that is, when he's not looking at gay and/or underage porn or working on his hooker hobby. Sadly, we doubt anyone in American even blinks at this "revelation," and even we couldn't find a humorous enough take on this to merit a quick post.

Until we learned that People magazine has been granted exclusive coverage of tomorrow's LA launch party for Charlie Sheen's new line of children's clothes, Sheen Kids (seriously). Which means they're obligated to cheerfully give the event space in the magazine, no matter what Sheen's personal drama may be.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.


Hookers be damned — that little skirt is ADORABLE!

Exclusive: Richards' Shocking Allegations Against Sheen [TMZ]
Denise Richards Shocker: Charlie Beat Me...and Likes Porn, Too [Us Weekly]