Remainders: Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal Had Sex!!!
• Uber-indie couple and overly cutesy NYC fixtures Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal are engaged and expecting a little bundle of diaper-shitting joy. We're praying they'll name the baby something like Jaane or Briaan. [AP]
• Child and family services pays a visit to Britney Spears and baby Sean Federline. You are not in any way surprised by this. [TMZ]
• Having finally crystallized his theory that Katie Couric is a robot, Simon Dumenco imagines CBS executives' plans for reprogramming the perky machine. [AdAge]
• While Page Sixers revel in freebies, Rush and Molloy just say no. [Deadline Hollywood]
• You didn't expect the Page Six scandal to pass without Joel Stein throwing in his two cents, did you? Of course not. And he's going to shake down the president of pomegranate juice while he's at it. [LAT]