• While keycard bumping and teenage grinding sounds like fun, you still couldn't pay us enough to go for bottle service with a dude who does "a mini-roof-raise" to celebrate gaining entrance to Marquee. [The Leveraged Sellout]
• What a tourist deserves for asking for directions to Hooters: Getting stuck in the crossfire of two New Yorkers' ego, and ending up at the wrong cross-street. [Undiscovered Superstar]
• The Trump men already had so much going for them: the cold stare, the iconic hair, the confident fashion sense. What could Trump Mortgage possibly add to the equation? [Dealbreaker]