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• Best actor loser Joaquin Phoenix is looking for a loft in Tribeca. Considering the dude's two twitches short of a breakdown, we think this could be a lot of fun. [Page Six]
• New York Oscar parties kind of suck when all the good people are actually at the Oscars instead. [Gatecrasher]
• Inspired, no doubt, by the butt-clenching success of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heat Ledger, Brad Pitt considers going Gay for an upcoming role. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Upon learning that the gift bags at a luncheon contain a $1000 diamond bracelet, Jersey girl Tara Reid swipes as many as she can. Life after Taradise ain't easy. [Page Six]
• Warren Beatty grills Lloyd Grove about his lovelife. [Lowdown]
• Jessica Simpson thinks the whole world is out to get her. Paranoia is so sexy, no? [Scoop]