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We fear that George Clooney, who last week so humbly admitted that had he had such wild success at an early age, he likely would've succumbed to the siren call of eyeball crack, may be the victim of an ugly, negative campaign intended to keep the charismatic, self-effacing triple-threat Oscar-free on Sunday night:

George Clooney has a quibble with Roseanne Barr. Her Wackiness recently claimed that 16 years ago, when "We were all drunk, John Goodman took a picture of George naked with Groucho Marx glasses over his private area and we used to have that on the fridge." The Oscar nominee admits that, in his youth, he did adorn his genitals with Marxist spectacles. "I called it The Face," he tells us. "But I knew better than to do it at that stage of my career. I must have told her the story."

Clooney's already fessed up to his sordid Facts of Life past (even bravely admitting, "If you can survive a mullet, you can survive anything."), but an Academy conservative enough to be skittish about the all-consuming gay cowboy obsession that's dominated awards season might not be thrilled about the actor's junk-decorating hobby.