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Fridays are delightful, and no less so because of Blue States Lose, our weekly game in which we sort through the galleries of blissfully retarded hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. After the jump, Joey Arak teaches you how to wear your kohl liner smeared like the stars.

Friends, we've perused all that the photo sites had to offer this week, and we've made an executive decision. In honor of Misshapes actually being up-to-date on their photo gallery for once, we're doing a special all-Misshapes edition of Blue States Lose. This week's Don't list is culled from the past two editions of the over-the-hill dance party. The Misshapes gang really offered up the best material, so why shouldn't they be rewarded (well, we can think of a few reasons). But don't worry, you still get your Last Night's Party Blog Moment of the Week, this time around from a post entitled "Dear Bronques
#5." Voila:

I really enjoy your website and your natural eye for capturing beauty.

Sniff. Truer words have never been spoken. Now on to the list.

10) Misshapes. February 4, 2006 photo #048: Is this dude a reporter trying to research downtown style trends while failing miserably at trying to fit in, or did he just take a Poker Chip Arts & Crafts class at sleepaway camp last summer? The clues rest in his slam book.

9) Misshapes. February 4, 2006 photo #045: We've been delaying writing these words for upwards of three BSLs now, but we can hold back no longer. If we see one more picture of some "fashion-forward" assclown wearing this same fucking Arafat neckerchief (are people just passing around the same one?), we're going to whip out a butterfly knife and kill every coke dealer south of St. Marks. DON'T THINK WE WON'T DO IT. The papers will call us a vigilante hero, but we're really just interested in ruining Saturday nights for the next six months, until the new ones can complete their training. Ah, fuck it. Too
late.

8) Misshapes. January 28, 2006 photo #007: For those who don't know, Misshapes is "hosted" by three people, two of which are frequent Don't targets. They're such regulars, in fact, that they have been given their own nicknames, Leotard Fantastic and Princess Coldstare. But what to make of The Other Dude? He's more often than not the most normal-looking of the bunch, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the ability to come out of nowhere and completely wow us every now and then. It's like he knew we were neglecting him, so he tossed on his Reservoir Dogs-meets-third-wave-Rude Boy (meets two tickets to the gun show) attire, turned to the camera and coyly said, "Oh this old thing? I just threw it on." Other Dude: we've held you out of the spotlight too long, friend. And for that, we apologize.

7) Misshapes. January 28, 2006 photo #062:The Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) is an atypical member of the cat family (Felidae) that hunts by speed rather than by stealth or pack tactics. It is the fastest of all terrestrial animals and can reach speeds of up to 62 mph in short bursts. The cheetah's body is svelte and muscular, though it seems slender and almost fragile in build. Its chest is deep and its waist narrow. It has a small head and short muzzle, high-placed eyes, large nostrils for maximal oxygen intake, and small round ears. The fur of the cheetah is yellow with round black spots which help to camouflage it and black tear lines on the sides of the muzzle. The adult animal weighs from 90 to 140 pounds. Its total body length is from 45 in to 55 inches, while the tail can measure up to 33 inches. Cheetahs are not true big cats, as they can purr as they inhale, but cannot roar. When asked about this lack of an intimidation factor, the cheetah said, "God, tell me about it. You think if I could roar, these Williamsburg bitches would still be bedazzling my neck? I'm a fucking joke out here!"

6) Misshapes. January 28, 2006 photo #064: This one's a complete mindfuck. Here you have a dapper young fellow in a nice suit, clearly wearing some stupid glasses for the purpose of being seen wearing some stupid glasses and ha ha ha, isn't that just hilarious?! But just when you think your snap judgement has him all figured out, you take a second look and suddenly you're struck with a confused sense of panic as you realize that, oh shit, this dude is seriously fucking insane.

5) Misshapes. January 28, 2006 photo #047: Simply put, this is so fucking stupid that it festered in our brain until it killed off whatever remained and got pooped out as the most original thing to come out of Misshapes in the past 12 months.

4) Misshapes. January 28, 2006 photo #073: We don't know what kind of disgusting French bestiality goth fetish videos this guy probably beats off to, but we do know that the world needs this douchebag like it needs a sober Pete Doherty.

3) Misshapes. February 4, 2006 photo #159: If this photo doesn't prove that the secret to all these Misshapes photos is that they're showing Holocaust film strips juuuuuust off camera, then Leotard Fantastic isn't a member of Her Majesty's Secret Service.

2) Misshapes. February 4, 2006 photo #077: This dude is so convincing as a Russian-immigrant-house-painter-on-meth that three Chechnyans just walked by with dynamite strapped to their chests and said, "Seriously, fuck that dude." They were being totally aggro, but you have to admit, they kinda have a point.

1) Misshapes. February 4, 2006 photo #202: "Ello! All aboard! We be pulling up anchor as soon as the belly gets loaded with the duff! We nearly bought out the entire supply from the chandlery, we did! Me name's Pip, and I'm the Cabin Boy on this here ship, I am! Me Pappy was a helmsman, and his Pappy before him was a helmsman! That's what I hope to be some day! But the Cap' would box my ears if he ever found out I left the pully block back over by the jib boom! Them's the happs! Enjoy your ride, Guv'ner!"