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Mining its incredible network of loose-lipped "friends" of America's Most Suspicious Couple, Life & Style Weekly claims to have gotten some insider insight into Tom Cruise's nefarious plans for his heavy-with-improbable-child finacée:

“I’ve got Katie tucked away, so no one will get to us until my child is born — and until I want them to,” Cruise recently told “a friend” according to the new issue of Life & Style Weekly.


What’s more, according to the mag, the friend claims Cruise doesn’t want a repeat of his marriage to Nicole Kidman; the couple had two adopted children and also tended to their careers.

“I said [Katie's] life from now on was going to be about being a mother,” Cruise allegedly said. “I’m not giving her the chance to turn into another Nicole.” Cruise’s rep denies the story.

Indeed, Cruise can't handle the heartbreak of being abandoned by another woman just a month before California law might entitle her to a cut of his hard-earned money for the rest of her life, and has no choice but to restrain Holmes with his love until the baby is born. But he knows that the temporary imprisonment of his partner is in the best interest of their family, and once she finally looks into the face of that newborn and recognizes the unmistakable bright eyes of that handsome, genetically perfect drone from the Celebrity Centre's Insemination Lab, she'll immediately pair-bond with the adorable clone and willingly abandon that troublesome acting career.