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The bloggers at Demo 2006 are all guzzling the new-product Kool-Aid. But un-blogger Chris Coulter has this habit of sending kick-ass, monomaniacal e-mails to just a handful of people. Why he's not monetizing his own eyeballs or cross-platforming his paradigm shift, I don't know, but the man deserves to be read. So here is the antidote to all the gushing product reports.

Demo 2006 - The Only Honest Report on the Web

Gahhhh, sick and tired of all the blogheads yapping up every nuthead Demo presentation. So did my own research.

You know there is something downright CRIMINAL about a PC World Editor in Chief saying

"I haven't tried Riya myself yet, but it demos extremely well." - Harry McCracken, PC World

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Vizrea - YouarenotgoingtobelievethisbutyetanotherdeadtiredFlickrcopycat. What's different? Microsoft droning retirees, playing patty-cake software games, Mike Toutonghi (eHome crash and burner) and the Brad Three's (Brad Silverberg, Brad Chase, and Brad Schick). And the Silverberg loyalist, Ben Slivka. Using and abusing the press and analysts, getting Gartenberg to gurbble-up the buzzwordy "contextual flow". Maybe they can sell it back to Ray Ozzie, as a Live offering. Pretty death-valley dry UI and search. Nokia inclusion something, won't get much pingback. What no Microsoft SmartPhone?

vSee - Yeah? P2P Video? Hard to make sense of just how to use this. Academics doing Video Conferencing all over again. Only they, in their supreme wisdom, have the smarts to make it actually work, why they helped found Google and Pixar. Seems only something Clay Shirky could use or understand. Have Clay get his students to do tons of research and then have him write up a paper, stealing that very research, on the "Emerging Worldwide Changing Impact of Peeeeer 2 Peeerrr Videeeoo Conferencing". As an aside, why does all this PhD smarty tech make for such horrible unmanageable code?

MooBella - IT Scream Machine, HEY it RUNS Linux. Network that Rocky Road, Butter Pecan has it's own IP. Telnet to Mint Choc Chip, FTP in some Orange Sherbet, but rm the Coffee Fudge. Homebrewish Ice Cream Machine running Linux, remote management of, I guess? Real factory tech is all embedded and seriously mission critical. This is a joke.

Ugobe [photo is Ugobe Pleo] - Ok, now this rocks. Total novelty, total fluff, but totally cool. Furby as a Dinosaur. Not sure why at Demo? Just marketing I guess. Still thumbs-up by me.

Blurb - Self-publishing redux, make-your-own-book. Pluuuzzze. Zillions of these companies preying on wannabe authors hopes and dreams. Most all fizzled. Looks another kick of the tires. The eBook Print on Demand meme dead already?

Another 19 after the jump. Seriously, this man has the subtlety of a Mack truck.

Bones in Motion - Phone as a personal trainer. Ohdearme. Talk about demographic mismatch. Real runners have all sorts of cool toys. Geeks with SmartPhones doing Excerise? On what Planet? [Well, this one. — Ed.]

Street Deck - mp3's in car? Yeah? Heck you have been able to get mp3 car stereo's for years now at even Wallyworld-like places. But hooking up iPods more the kick, one that has even big luxury car makers jazzed.

Accomplice - Yetmoregroupware pie-in-sky over-promised software. Outlook killer this is not. Snooze. Sucky UI too. Reminds me of a bad bad Lotus Notes clone circa 1998.

Grassroots - Just what the world NEEDS, yet more presentation software. Groan. Works with Powerpoint TOO. Stop the world.

Digislide - Aussie group with "projection tech" and enough buzzwords on their website to kill an Army. Patent hoard or buy us out move. Established companies, like Sony, could eat this even before breakfast.

Network Streaming - Ok why are they at DEMO? They about dead and need more Venture money to stay afloat? Remote PC and Security stuff in the appliance-based form. Sorta a real biz, swimming with sharks in crowded waters however.

PolyVision - "The New Generation of Collaboration", translation, multi-screen video conferencing, whiteboards and presentation toolsets at triple the usual price. It's the New New Generation thing, doncha know?

Tiny Pictures - Phone Camera Tricks and Social Networking something De Jour. Geepers, how many zillions of these companies are there?

Zingee - Online sharing tool. Geeee, I don't think I have EVER seen one of these before. ((Rolls eyes)). Add them to the hundreds out there, and the thousands no longer with us.

GarageBand - Sometimes there is a reason why talent remains undiscovered. Supposedly up-and-coming artists doing digital music, yadda yadda yah. Just bubbling with flavor-bursting boredom.

RawSugar - Raw is right. Tagging Searching Directory something, yadda yadda. Still unclear on the concept, after trying real hard to grep. Create your own directory of tagged stuff? Help? DOA.

Multiverse - In case you want to WASTE even more time in virtual life worlds. Reach Out and Touch Faith, Your Own Personal MMOG Generator. Someone To Hear Your Prayers, Someone Who Cares. Just think if it as the Beth-Goza-Emulator.

Krugle - Google for code? Ummm, Sourceforge turned into a Search Engine? Ad Content forthcoming?

Plum - Mash-up after Google Searching? What? Idontgetthisanddontthinkanymarketneed. Hey, whatever happened to OnFolio, like no one talks about them anymore. They were all the mash-up research rage once.

TagWorld - Would you BELIEVE, yet more Social software, with pictures and tagging and a "marketplace"? They claim 700,000 users, but methinks early start on fuzzy accounting. One-stop-shop for Web 2.0 memes? Flame out. Anyone that funds this needs to see a shrink.

GuardID - Yetanothercheaposmartcardsecurity thingamajig. Riding the Identity Theft hysteria wave. SecurID and IBM Smart Card this is not.

Riya - The famed "We-Got-Googled-Oh-No-We-Didn't" school of Shel Israel "breaking-NDAs-and-using-blogs-as-hype-and-rumor-spreading" PR management. Photo reco tech, taking old-school face-reco to the new Web 2.0 brain-deadheads. Jazzing it up on a photo site and performing geek tricks. Limited use, if you can even find one.

Kosmix - Good location at least, Cosmic. Kosmix is such a 1999 name; Attention All Space Cadets, Report For Duty. Yet more search enginey tech, just taxonomy-based, sorta, more fauxonomy to me.

Sharpcast - Sync your PHOTOS wheeeeeeee. Sync to Phone, sync to PDA. It's a "connected applications platform", honest, yes, and blah blah blah. 20 zillion of these sync things in the PDA glory years. But this one is DIFFERENT, yesiree, they have "top-notch computer scientists and MBAs" with tons of start-up and flame-out experience. So very pre-crash 1998ish. DOA.

Gosh well that toy Dinosaur Robot Toy, Pleo is cool.

Gentler reviews at DEMO 06: Morning Report and DEMO 06: Tuesday Afternoon [Tara Hunt's HorsePigCow]