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Does anyone work all day? The chattering class has taken over Valleywag, commenting when they ought to be out biking Mount Diablo with VCs or dumping their stock portfolios. Here are the top comments, or at least the ones I was bribed to feature:

Valleywag assignment: Tell me what to write
"Web 2.0 is already a gossip rag about itself. It's the Nob Hill Gazette with tags."

Intel won't admit it, but Apple's an abusive partner
""Great Atmosphere, It's like when Daddy beats Mommy at the dinner table and Mommy makes you finish your dinner. It's all right baby, Apple just got a little crazy - Mommy Intel is fine, Apple just got a little outta control - finish your peas, Mommy's fine."

Mari and Larry's new loves
"Lucy's going straight to the top. Mishmashed 'I'm really smart and dorky, but we both know I'm still cute' smile just says it all."

When will journalists decide Jobs isn't God?
"I was told that Jobs is so rude and crazy that there is an HR person that follows him around the office to tell people to please ignore him. The main reason he has his own elevator is so people don't have to ride with him LOL"

Valleywag exclusive: Oh Schmidt!
"I've never, ever seen him wear a wedding ring. Is it true that he was fired from Novell because he was looking at porn on his company computer? No, I'm not making that up."

Valleywag: distasteful and cruel
"When John Battelle says the Valley isn't built with the same DNA as LA, does he mean
A) The Cylons look like us now
B) Marissa kids will be way smarter than Britney's
C) He truly believes we'd rather read about search engines"

You are very witty commenters and you're all getting fired. Here are three free invites: 1, 2, 3. First come, first served.

Or e-mail tips@valleywag.com with what you want to say on Valleywag; we'll hook you up. Meanwhile, subscribe to the comment feed.