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• Late breaking, but: Behold the bacchanalian realtor horror of the Corcoran Group's holiday party. [BizBash]
• Natasha Lyonne may be back out on the streets, but it doesn't mean she's out of trouble: the cracktress skipped her court date yesterday, presumably because she was out buying 60 lbs of baking soda and some bell jars. [NYP]
• Meg Ryan officially adopts a baby girl from China. She's a mess without her, little China Girl. [Us Weekly]
• A trip to Ikea is stressful enough as is. Taking that trip with your significant other can make for relationship hell. Which is exactly why we'll die old and alone, with furniture made from cardboard boxes. [NY Sun]
• Blackface Jesus explains the blackface; confesses that his Halloween costume was Whiteface Jesus. Of course. [Junk Mag]
• Yesterday on Howard Stern, Alexis Stewart revealed her predilection for fucking the wage laborers. [Howard Stern]
• Billy Joel isn't some little kid, you know. It's time to start calling him "Bill." [NYT]
• How to deal with a porn producer. [JenIsFamous]
• Donald Trump sues the NYT Co. and reporter Timothy L. O'Brien for $5 billion in damages — which should cover, oh, maybe half of Trump's paper losses for the next week. [WSJ]