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It's not that the special Golden Globes remix of that Pussycat Dolls song that kicked off the ceremony was too hard to understand to make an accurate transcription. On the contrary, the starving studio musicians (please tell us that the Dolls aren't already starving to death) that NBC forced into this ritualized awards show humiliation were admirably intelligible as they warbled tributes to the arriving stars. Our failure to scribble down the altered lyrics had more to do with the fact that we were so distressed by the odd sensation of the warm trickle of blood that issued forth from our eardrums after realizing they really did sing "Don’t ya dig the bling on the robes tonight?" that we went looking for a towel to stanch the flow, aborting our mission before it even began. Luckily for everyone, blogger Josh Horowitz's auditory canal is made of heartier stuff:

I know it’s Globe time I know it’s Globe time Here’s how I know Here’s how I know I know we won’t see this many stars at any other show Desperate Housewives… These Desperate Housewives… …are matched pearl to pearl Here is Capote and Johnny Cash And his name is Earl Don’t ya think that Jaime looks hot tonight? Don’t ya think that Reese has a shot tonight? Don’t ya? Don’t ya?

If you haven't had enough, the rest of the song is here. We haven't the strength to continue on with you.