Britney Spears Inexplicably Tops Mr. Blackwell's Worst-Dressed List
Since 1960, catty queen Richard Blackwell has been cataloguing the sartorial missteps of celebrities, compiling lists that everyone reveres just because. This year is no different, and so we seek comfort in the familiarity of Mr. Blackwell's beautifully bitchy poetry:
2005 Worst Dressed List
1. BRITNEY SPEARS: "When it comes to couture chaos, this tacky terror should take a bow looks like an over-the-hill Lolita. From the princess of pop to the ultimate fashion flop."
2. MARY-KATE OLSEN: "In bag lady rags that look depressingly decayed forget the accessories and buy some Raid."
3. JESSICA SIMPSON: "It's time to sack the stylist and divorce the designer she resembles a cut-rate Rapunzel slingin' hash in a Vegas diner."
After the jump, the rest of Blackwell's delightful shit list, plus his picks for the best dressed ladies (though it's hard to get as excited over praise for Dionne Warwick).
4. EVA LONGORIA: "Gorgeous face, garish taste what a waste."
5. MARIAH CAREY: "The world applauds your musical emancipation but please leave that body to our imagination."
6. PARIS HILTON: "The Burger Queen Sensation may be very rich but she looks like yesterday's cheesecake with a side of kitsch."
7. ANNA NICOLE SMITH: "Queen Kong in cheap lingerie."
8. SHAKIRA: "Coiffure by Medusa clothes by the Marquis De Sade."
9. LINDSAY LOHAN: "The Teen Scream defines Fashion Fright looks like she's aged 30 years overnight."
10. RENEE ZELLWEGER: "Runs the gamut from Kewpi Doll Dreck to Red Carpet Wreck she looks like a painted pumpkin on a pogo stick."
2005 Best Dressed List
1. Reese Witherspoon
2. Kirsten Dunst
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Kate Moss
5. Natalie Portman
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Kathy Hilton
8. Carolina Herrera
9. Dionne Warwick
10. Ginny (widow of Henry) Mancini
