Today will most likely witness Gawker's lowest traffic of the year so with that in mind I pledge to take it to depths unseen since...yesterday. Didn't appreciate the Paris Hilton snatch yanker pic? Don't worry, plenty more in the bottomless ocean where that came from. If any esteemed members of the media are actually reading this, perhaps David Remnick of The New Yorker, I apologize if you don't like chocolate in your peanut butter. (Sorry, that was awkward.)

Anyway, in the spirit of transparency and giving credit where it's due, I wanted to point out that Jesse Oxfeld found the strength from his sickbed to contribute two posts yesterday and a little bird sent me the intern's to-do list. Blog bylines be damned, I feel better now.

Comment invitations will be sent out shortly. If you don't get one I'm sorry. It wasn't really merit-based. First-come, first-serve is how things are done around here. - Adam Slushpilitz