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The inviting smell of a roasting turkey, beloved family members catching up after being apart for too long, spit flying from Eva Longoria's bright red face as she cusses someone out from the window of an SUV these are just a few of the cherished traditions we have all come to associate with the holidays. Who of us wasn't touched by her parking attendant-stiffing reminder, "Jesus! It s Thanksgiving. Be nice. FUCK!" Now comes news of this Christmas Eve interaction with San Antonio's finest:

An officer on a bicycle saw the stopped car holding up traffic early Saturday and rapped the hood with his hand, according to a police report. [Spurs guard and Longoria's boyfriend Tony] Parker, behind the wheel, questioned why the officer touched the car, and the couple "began screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner," police said. Longoria called the police report "highly inaccurate."


Police say the Parker began to drive away, almost hitting a man standing nearby. After being told to stop and get out, Parker showed a French driver's license, police said. The star guard for the defending NBA champions was was born in Belgium and raised in France.

The officer who wrote the citations said Parker complained: "This is all the cops do, just mess with people," and that Longoria shouted from the car: "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph."

While the story came out just a tad too late for us to whip up another e-card ("He's just a Mexican bike cop. Feliz Navidad!"), we hope you can just appreciate the beauty of its message on its own: After all, nothing says Christmas like deluded celebrity entitlement drenched in self-loathing racist overtones and chased with a lazy publicist-delivered denial.

UPDATE: The folks at the always dependable Smoking Gun get their hands on the police report.