This image was lost some time after publication.

Look at this fucking picture. Are you kidding us, New York mag? Is this your idea of a joke? How are we supposed to do anything with this week's Look Book when all you give us is the back of some dude's head? You may have been trying to show off his "leopard spotted" hair, but it just strikes us as some sloppily frosted tips. Nevertheless, sculptor Josh Levine insists his leopard hair is part of a long-term artistic project with his wife. Josh Levine is his own art, which works into his larger work as a living sculpture based around the narcissistic sense of self. Yep, sounds pretty narcissistic to us.

After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up Leah Greenblatt, Lucas Hanft, and Jason Wool for their suggestions on how best to fix that shit with some Feria.

Leah Greenblatt, Entertainment Weekly

Let's play a game. Find an image, from the Internet, approximating what you think Joshua Levine might look like from the front on. Explain your choice.

This image was lost some time after publication.

I thought maybe it was generally in the right follicular color scheme and realm of touchability, but then it turned out I don't really care. Still, how cute is this?

Along those same lines, but not using the Internet, what do you think Josh is wearing?

Well, seeing as his leopard spots go back nine years — which, conincidentally, is the last time I remember thinking these were cool, as seen on the salon assistant in the Crystal Method t-shirt who got a $4 tip for rinsing me out — I would guess there's a gas station attendant patch on that there Dickies work shirt. Along with the tattoos we unfortunately can't see, I imagine his look to somewhat approximate Scott Weiland, circa "Sex Type Thing."

What does Joshua Levine as "Josh's art" think of the transit strike?

"Josh's art" doesn't understand why his six precious years' worth of hair clippings haven't been investigated as a possible alternative fuel source. Though, on second thought, their value far exceeds whatever pittance those faceless brown people in the orange MTA vests will ever earn in their sad union lives. Haha! Art!

What does Joshua Levine as Joshua Levine think of the transit strike?

He's thinking less about the hair clippings, and more about his discarded toenails and eyelashes...What's the going rate at Christy's for Joshua Levine's dander right now? And since when do professional narcissists ride the N R?


Lucas Hanft, imminently employable former official Radar shlepper

Let's play a game. Find an image, from the Internet, approximating what you think Joshua Levine might look like from the front on. Explain your choice.

This image was lost some time after publication.

His savage mutilation of his scalp points to an overwhelming desire to manifest and represent an inner self on the surface. His bizarre, primitive process of self-inscription would obviously extend to his face, which he's transformed to represent the leopard-ish beast within.

Plus, the only person so attached to a leopard skin print is either some mafioso with a strip-club chain or a real, polyester-wrapped 80s relic — someone who'd still be obsessed with White Lion. And really, who can blame him? Certainly not anyone who's heard "When the Children Cry" in recent memory. It truly stands the test of time. Plus, in the video, the dude plays this radical Japanese guitar, with no head or strings or nothing. It's one of the top five best moments ever recorded.

Along those same lines, but not using the Internet, what do you think Josh is wearing?

The real concern isn't what Josh is wearing, but rather the sort of barbaric inscriptions he's no doubt scrawled on his flesh with a embering fire-poker. Though to explicate the tatooed hieroglyphs ciphered on his flesh would take a book unto itself. It's hard to say anything about the garment itself. It looks like it's potentially fire retardant. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a bowling shirt he took off some dude who'd been bumped out of the round-robin earlier in the evening — wound up half drunk, shirtless, worthless as a corpse in a gutter. Josh no doubt drapes in American Apparel and other hipster-approved threads, lulling those around him into a false sense of complacency. Wait until the next full moon — and then wonder where your jugular went off to when your back was turned.

What does Joshua Levine as "Josh's art" think of the transit strike?

Josh's art thinks the transit strike gives his panther soul further opportunity to satisfy its nearly unquenchable bloodlust. More little red riding hoods deprived of the cross town bus, traipsing through parks late at night, waiting to be picked off, devoured, bones left gnarled, half-buried near the willow trees. Like the Jack Nicholoson movie Wolf, only not uproariously funny.

Ultimately here I'm ascribing to Jake interests I'm almost sure he doesn't have. The truth is the artist Jake is probably happy about the transit strike, as, in this preposterous worldview of his (where he can justify his pathetic drag of an existence as "art"), he'll interpret the huddled masses schlepping in the cold — victims of shrinkage with noses running green — as sculptures themselves. That objectifying motherfucker! Maybe with a knife in his eye he'll see things a bit more clearly.

What does Joshua Levine as Joshua Levine think of the transit strike?

It's not like L train service to Williamsburg can be any worse.


Mr. Spacely, freeloader and hobo.

Let's play a game. Find an image, from the Internet, approximating what you think Joshua Levine might look like from the front on. Explain your choice.

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

If you were to take a cue from the Bush administration and plant a listening device into so-called Josh Levine's bedroom, and you recorded conversations between him and his wife regarding who the "real" Josh Levine is, I'm confident that you would discover that he's actually Justin Timberlake and "Rachel Kaiser Levine" is really Cameron Diaz. He's hiding from the FCC.

Along those same lines, but not using the Internet, what do you think Josh is wearing?

It's either a Darth Vader suit — and he's taken the helmet off in order to exhibit his hair — or it's simply his Conde Nast janitorial uniform. If it's the former, Josh, I'd recomend you ditch your hair all together. Didn't you notice at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke take's his daddy's helmet off—that the dude inside is BALD and looks like Fester Addams?!

What does Joshua Levine as "Josh's art" think of the transit strike?

He's pissed off that he can't make it to Sephora to buy product. Hell hath no fury like a metro...err...sculpture scorned.

What does Joshua Levine as Joshua Levine think of the transit strike?

He's overjoyed that he gets to stay home and have his wife groom him. Zip-Lock baggies full of pubes, here we come!