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Feeling stressed? Is all that holiday cheer just bringing you down? Has the weight of a crumbling institution done quite a number on your back? Yeah, that's what we thought — but thankfully, the Gray Lady is looking out for you:

From: NYTIMES MAIL
Date: December 1, 2005 3:04:54 AM EST
To: NY TIMES INTERNET, NY TIMES NOTES
Subject: Back Rub Program

BACK RUBS!

Please Note: To Register You Must Click on the LifeSkills Link Below.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 7TH
Cafeteria at 43rd Street on the 11th floor
10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.
***
Evening Slots
Tuesday December 6th &
Wednesday December 7th
Metro Conference Room on the 3rd floor
6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

DON'T MISS OUT! REGISTER EARLY!

And after the Times gives you that back rub, it'll invite you up to its room to listen to CDs and "talk." You know the routine.