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Meet Strummer Hoffston, the one and only writer living on the Lower East Side who experiences "cheap rent." The lucky bitch is featured in the latest edition of New York's Look Book, where she muses on her stoop-sale blazers, being named after the Clash's Joe Strummer, how gentrification makes bohemia impossible. Also of note: her mother, a hippie, was arrested a lot — mentioning this makes Strummer feel better about gentrifying everything she touches. After the jump, Intern Alexis gathers analysis on Strummer's style from Henry the Intern, AJ Daulerio, and Sarah Lewitinn.

Henry the Intern

If you could stick something in Strummer's hair, what would it be?
 A "Vote or Die" pin.

Strummer actually met Joe Strummer back in 2002. What do you think they talked about?

They talked about how getting married would make her name Strummer Strummer. And Joe advised Strummer to wear her hair up and pulled back.

Why doesn't this girl live in Brooklyn?

She thinks that the Lower East Side gives her gangsta cred.

What's Strummer's DJ name?

The Nanny? Da Nanny?

AJ Daulerio, soon-to-be-unemployed Oddjack editor

If you could stick something in Strummer's hair, what would it be?

A baby squirrel.

Strummer actually met Joe Strummer back in 2002. What do you think they talked about?

STRUMMER: "Hey, Joe, my name is Strummer. I'm named after you..."

JOE STRUMMER: "Jesus! You've got a fucking baby squirrel in your hair!"

Why doesn't this girl live in Brooklyn?

She hates white people.

What's Strummer's DJ name?

DJ KILL BROOKLYN WHITEY

Sarah Lewitinn, DJ Ultragrrrl

If you could stick something in Strummer's hair, what would it be?

You know, in the photo, it almost looks like Strummer is rocking a
femullet... almost. If i could stick anything in her hair, it'd be a pair of scissors so I can make it a definite mullet.

Strummer actually met Joe Strummer back in 2002. What do you think they talked about?

Would it be that far off to suggest that they probably talked about Lizzy McGuire? How about 2002's hot boy of the moment: Andrew WK?

Why doesn't this girl live in Brooklyn?

You know, I wondered the same thing. I wonder what sort of rent stabilized situation she found herself in on the Lower East Side. Perhaps she managed to convince some Dominican/Puerto Rican family to turn their lease over to her in exchange for some cool vinyl.

What's Strummer's DJ name?

DJ Ultragrrrl?