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This year, we're thankful for the latest participant in New York magazine's Look Book feature, Lisa Falcone. Ms. Falcone claims she used to model before meeting her hedge-funding husband, and now she's writing an anonymous novel. A quick Google search, however, reveals that Falcone is better known for her topless work (especially her NSFW appearance in Breast Men).

But that was another time, another place. Let's not dwell on embarrassing the new mom! It seems Falcone has had the implants removed in order to better wear her Prada and Valentino duds and cart around her twins, Liliana and Carolina. After the jump, Intern Alexis gathers Matthew Schneier, Emily Carmichael, and Tracie Egan analyze the style of the classic MILF.

Matthew Schneier, Skinny Gourmet

What's Lisa's top choice for Kindergartens for Liliana and Carolina? And what's gonna be her strategy for getting them in?

Liliana, on the left, is a Dalton girl all the way, just like Mom. Carolina, on the other hand, is off to Little Red to nurture her inner artist like she would have gone to Dalton even ifshe had gotten in. She'll get her revenge on the more audience-friendly Liliana by staging a one-act play at the Fringe Festival about prevalent designer-drug abuse in Lil's kindergarten bathroom and a touch of existential angst for the critics. At progressive Little Red, the production will count as a math class.

When Lisa and her husband first met, when they "had no cash," how did she dress?

Lisa and her husband first met when they had no cash just unlimited credit. Now that Hubby's hedge fund has provided a little liquid support, Lisa can afford the high-end items she never could in her Amex Platinum youth like a waistband.

What's Lisa's novel about?

Suffice it to say that it will do for the unimpregnable what "He's Not that Into You" did for the unmarriable. Its title pending FSG approval is "IVF by DvF." With just a wrap dress and a pipette, there's nothing you can't do.

We just wanna eat up Liliana and Carolina, they're so frickin adorable! What sort of sauce would you suggest dipping them in?

14k gold. Oh, and something contemporary, like a rhubarb emulsion or some shit. Seriously, those kids look like a touring company production of The Crucible.


Emily Carmichael, playwright

What's Lisa's top choice for Kindergartens for Liliana and Carolina? And what's gonna be her strategy for getting them in?

The New York College of Illustrators, where they'll major in Being a Victorian Lithograph. Her strategy is to make them look, if possible, more rosy and idyllic, by pinching their cheeks and covering them with puppies.

When Lisa and her husband first met, when they "had no cash," how did she dress?

In skins — Lisa was actually a feral jungle woman coaxed from the trees with the promise of Prada boots. Her husband entered finance to keep her in small dogs and Valentino jackets, which are all that's keeping her from returning to the wild.

What's Lisa's novel about?

Forgoing the obvious cache of her jungle woman backstory, Lisa has decided to write "a snappy, stylish memoir of being thin and wearing clothes."

We just wanna eat up Liliana and Carolina, they're so frickin adorable! What sort of sauce would you suggest dipping them in?

Chocolate, to go with the marshmallows they're wrapped in.


Tracie Egan, fourth from the top of BUST mag's masthead

What's Lisa's top choice for Kindergartens for Liliana and Carolina? And what's gonna be her strategy for getting them in?

Something not casual. Five-year-olds who are going somewhere in life have no business attending a school that would permit fashion death by means of sensible shoes and clothing that doesn't require dry cleaning. Lisa knows that. She's smart. She anonymously writes books. She's like the Joel Stein of mommy-trackers. As for a strategy —uh, I thought I saw the words "hedge fund." Can't some donations be made or something? Surely, the student body would benefit from the academic use of iPods. So would my body. You got that, Falcone?

When Lisa and her husband first met, when they "had no cash," how did she dress?

Well, she certainly didn't wear a test-tube baby on each hip. IVF ain't cheap, y'all!

What's Lisa's novel about?

Lisa's novel is inspired by a true story, and those happen in life, which we've learned is colorful! Just like the Falcone gals' style — a tastefully muted rainbow bursting with browns, blacks, tans, beiges, whites, navy blues, and Caucasian flesh tones. That last one actually might be a chapter title, I think.

We just wanna eat up Liliana and Carolina, they're so frickin adorable! What sort of sauce would you suggest dipping them in?

I'd dip 'em in the same kind Mommy drowns her high-end sorrows in each night. Yummers!