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You have no idea the opportunities in life that are closed to you when people mistakenly think you're the daughter of a multimillionaire developer and newspaper publisher. There are so many perks — so many interesting people to meet, so many freebies to be snagged — that are available to average folks like us but suddenly become off-limits when people think you're boldface spawn. And so we can understand why New York magazine contributing writer Alicia Zuckerman felt compelled to send this email to her colleagues today:

From: "Zuckerman, Alicia"
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2005 12:00:31 -0500
To: *Edit
Subject: Dispelling a rumor

Hi everyone,

It has come to my attention that a rumor is going around that I am Mort Zuckerman's daughter. This is not the case. He is not my father, my uncle, or even a distant cousin. There is no relation. If there were, I imagine I wouldn't be shouldering my considerable student loan from grad school.

While we're at it, I am also not Pinchas Zukerman's daughter (note the spelling), although I don't mind that one as much.

If anyone asks, please, please set them straight.

Thanks,

Alicia (no relation to anyone famous) Zuckerman

But we totally hear Philip Roth named Nathan Zuckerman after her grandfather. Really.